Flightless Bird

Suntec Singapore

2010-03-21T07:12:00.001-07:00

Its taking over my life! But after the initial period, its ok now. Burning of weekends is more of a 'ok lor' than a 'HUH WHY??'. Adjustment? If you wish to call it that.
Missing chanoah klee like hell, not used to life without seeing them at least 5 days a week.
Talking to ms yew tee online now, it feels like she never left at all. But when the lappy is off, and my days are filled with the smell of coffee and the crisp office air, it feels like I'm alone to fend it all by myself again. I'm not depressed, I'm even quite happy here. Seeing my funny and caring colleagues and seniors, them making sure I can cope, I'm not hungry lol. I am falling in love with work. But whether its a one-night stand or a long term relationship, is yet to be decided.
Will elaborate more when i have the time. Ms yew tee needs me now.

don't worry girl, even from another country we are here for you.

2010-03-03T23:50:00.000-08:00

Twinity oh Twinity

2010-02-12T22:38:00.000-08:00

Presenting..... OUR SPM TWINITY MASTERPIECE! Maison de Beaute, or House of Beauty. The pride of our team, cuz we spent over 24 hours collectively on it! Actually I think it was more. Anyway, we weren't able to present this video during the actual web presentation, which made me quite sad, because half of our presentation details was inside, and I was worried our tutor wouldn't get the full picture. And the entire flow, and what we carefully planned to present our video was all spoiled! :(

But thankfully she was able to appreciate the amount of effort we put into the video, and commended us after she watched it. YAY! So do enjoy this video, I am so friggin proud of it that I want the whole world to see it!! :D

Oh and this is the full version of the 'commercial' that was shown in the above video, we had to cut down cuz the video overan the time limit. :)

PS: Do switch on your volume during the video! ;)

The Proposal

2010-02-05T04:08:00.000-08:00

NO I am not getting married. Not soon anyway, another 2 years or so. But he DID propose! My sweet baby got down on one knee to promise his heart to me. Honestly I was so touched and shocked that I can't remember what were his exact words!! And he refuses to repeat them, too shy I think, but he says cuz 'its over, too bad if you missed it' -.-
I got the ring we chose! Pretty, 0.14 carat, E grade tiny little diamond. But perfect in my eyes. Thank you dear, every second spent with you is precious to me, a habit I picked up thanks to your army days. But in a way its good for our relationship right? Being with you makes me happy, and my world revolves around you when we're together, nothing else can describe my wonderful 5 years with you. You said that the little rock on my finger means I'm yours now, but I already belonged to you since forever ago, this is just a pretty little reminder isn't it? :)
Thank you for the love and care you've showered on me, for all the things I noticed and even more for the things I didn't.

Night view of Chinatown

Salmon Filo

Seafood Casserole

Day view of Chinatown

Your highness

2010-02-02T06:54:00.000-08:00

I can't believe that after so many years, the Princess syndrome is very much alive. I guess its not your fault because you were brought up with everything fed and brought to you. But I was somewhat like that, with my family pampering me. But because I was surrounded by others who weren't as fortunate as me, I began to feel ashamed that I had life so good for me. And I also realised that I was developing such a lousy work ethic that I could just see my life crumbling away unless I did something for myself. Don't you think that its time to dig yourself up from that rut that you are in and get a healthy dose of reality? Do you really think that in the workplace, people still care about who are your 'frenemies', who's the bigger bitch, who's fuckin who, what you're wearing. I don't know, I just feel that although you have changed, you've just become a more concentrated character of who you have always been. Why do you need to care about what people think about you? Must you always be the diva or the superstar to feel like you're worthy? I feel that I relate to you less and less. Environments changing, personalities changing, I guess people grow apart. All I can say is, if you want something, go ahead and fuckin get it. Nobody's stopping you, but nobody's going to be helping you if your attitude is shit. Which it is now by the way.

On a happier note, spent a sweet weekend with tuney traipsing over chinatown, visiting a huge-ass temple, and satisfying my Hooters fried pickle craving!

Feline!

2010-01-25T04:04:00.000-08:00

Finally finally FINALLY!! I bought my beloved Feline khol pencil from MAC! After much consideration and apprehension, its finally in the bag. Loverly smudgy pencil that makes me have Kandee eyes!
Just felt so happy about my little buy that I had to write it down somewhere, so this dead blog will suffice. Was in the shower just now, and was thinking of my favourite make-up artist Kandee Johnson, I really wonder what's going to happen to her, and will I help make things better if I send her some money. I think I am the only person in my circle of friends who know about Kandee, and her amazing make-up skills, and also the predicament that she is in now. I find myself watching her past videos just to relive those happy times when she wasn't in all the trouble she is in now, and hoping that it will all pass so that she can get back to being happy again. Anyway, it was due to her recommendation of Feline that I went out to buy it, and I'm really glad that I did.

Next on the list:

Benefit Perfect 10 two-tone blush
MAC/Sephora Blush Brush
Blunt from MAC
Concealer (haven't decided on the final product)

And I made a fun decision while chatting with Cherrie darling today, I have decided........... to get a professional make-up artist cosmetic license! Like puifang wants to learn Japanese, I want to learn pro cosmetics. So exciting, but I guess the only time I can do so is after I graduate. And let's say I do have children in the future, I can try my hand at some freelance make-up services.

Congratulations to Tuang for passing! And to Carina, next time I will find 4 insurance prayers for you. So cheer up ok!

I was pissed today

2009-11-17T04:43:00.000-08:00

By an annoying tutor. Have you ever met a person (prolly middle-aged) and so stubborn that they made up their mind about what the conclusion of a discussion was going to be, even before the discussion even started? Somehow I have the wonderful luck to meet quite a handful of these irritants. Met another one today, got so pissed that I tried my best to give him attitude. Think it worked according to SY's report. :D
So anyway, after that totally useless discussion, I was so annoyed that I sat at a random bench and blasted a proposal, researched and called the CDAC center 5 times (nobody picked up, but regardless) and wrote a very looooong email to them. And my laptop died on me. -.-
So i rushed home and prettified my wonder proposal, and sent it to them. Will be faxing the application form as well. To SY and Carina, I am super determined to make this event work. And I am so going to take photos with lilin's semi-pro, and wave them in your neh neh tutor's face. Can you imagine me waving and doing the neh neh dance? *neh neh nehnehneh*

Back and it feels weird

2009-10-22T01:27:00.000-07:00

First post since I landed on good ol' Singapore soil. So much running through my head, mostly of Zhuhai, and the friendships that I soldered while in the dorms. Some I really value, and I want to keep with me throughout life. Wouldn't it be nice if we were married with kids, and I can still say Carina meet you in Maple later when the kids are at school? Buy A Cash and look pretty want or not? I really wish it will be so.
Back at school, feeling quite numb. Just floating through the days without giving much thought to what I am doing, or saying or hearing. I hope this wears off soon, I need to start getting back into the mugger mode that serves me so well.
A post half dedicated to my adopted lil' bro. We have seen each other for almost as long as me and ahloy have been together, a whopping 4 years at least. I saw you on an almost weekly basis, and thanks to you, my weekends are more bearable and so much less awkward. I first knew you when you were in Sec 2, so long ago it seems now. Although I wasn't much of an important person in your life, I was there to witness the change, when you went from the awkward young boy age, to the rebellious teen to the care-worn and tired person I see now. So much can change and so much can happen in such a short while. I can't say that I fully understand what you go through, I catch glimpses of it now and then, when your mama nags and scolds, when you're having trouble at home or at school or even the fiasco with Irene. But all along I just hoped that if somebody cared, you will smile that sweet smile of yours and go back to being a normal person who is honestly happy.
Occasionally I have a small argument with ahloy, over why I should care so much about what happens to you. His argument is, you will grow up on your own, so I should just mind my own business. But if I was going through the shit you are going through now, I would want a listening ear. Just to let you know, I'm still here to talk cock, crack lame jokes, be my sua ku self. Or just to listen.

Hong Kong Polytechnic University

2009-10-06T23:18:00.000-07:00

Korean BBQ

2009-10-06T22:59:00.000-07:00

Nothing to do today, so I wanted to eat at my favourite place here in ZhuHai, the Korean BBQ Restaurant! I think I said this before, but its really the best place ever, the meat is bbq-ed right in front of you, and you can choose whether you want to DIY or have one of the staff do it for you. I have been just eating the meat wrapped in veggies for my entire meal, and I can still end up so stuffed! Here are some photos. I hope I can go back as many times as possible before I go back to Singapore. :D

GongBei No. 7

2009-10-04T08:16:00.001-07:00

And so today we had nothing better to do, drove down to GongBei again. The shop owners there are starting to know us! Quite a feat don't you think? Bought some souveniors and gifts for family and friends, next week will be my last trip there already! Quite sad to leave this all behind. But am quite eager to get back to Singapore as well! Tomorrow is another half day of school, before coming back to the dorms for some lame e-learning shit. -.-
Here are the piccies!

Spotted! Carina opened a sexy underwear shop!

A super cute dress! Quite expensive: 120Yuan

I bought 2 of this lighter, for Loy's father and my uncle. Quite a cute gift, cuz the design is actually the credit card issued by the Bank of China here.

A cute lion keychain for my dad, to keep him and his handphone safe! HAHAHAHA.

Very very very cute stickers for my scrapbook fan sister.

Fake raybans for me! Lilin says I look like a cockroach. BUT I DON'T CARE. :D

A wallet for JianYi (godbro). Hope you like it!

2 card holders, super strong one ok! You better don't anyhow break it I tell you. Mont Blanc.

And DunHill.

2 LV Heart coin holders. One for Veron and one for my mum's friend.

A white hairband that I got for 20yuan! The shopkeeper sold for super low cuz we keep going back.

A cute hair clip for Farah.

Burberry handbag for my bf's mama.

And a sailor bag for me! :D Fang you can share. hahahaha.

Souveniors and the Moon

2009-10-03T06:36:00.001-07:00

Getting lost in Lost City

2009-09-30T19:28:00.000-07:00

We finally managed to fulfill our Lost City craving! After Lilin googled the place and we saw the pictures, we have been trying to find time to go. We actually wanted to go on Monday, but because it started to rain, we stayed in and rotted the day away. Little did we know that here in China, they don't care! You can still play even if there is a thunderstorm or something. So we set off yesterday (Wednesday) although the sky was abit dark. And just our luck when we were about to reach that it started to rain like really heavily. -.-
So we asked the driver, can we still go in and play?? He said yes! No problem! Sure or not... But in the end we really got in and they let us play! Like every single ride also can play! Not like oh its raining, so you can't use this ride. Quite scary, I never stood willingly under the rain for 6 hours before. And never in my swimsuit either. So anyway, it cost us 70Yuan instead of 80 to get in, I think cuz the guard knew our driver. Its about S$14? Cheaper than Wild Wild Wet, and 10 times more fun ok. My fav was the slide with 3 bumps, and you had to slide down head first. Damn thrilling!! I took it twice. Then it rained again. -.-
After we were done, the driver was late cuz of the traffic and all, so we wandered around for abit. We discovered this cool oven on a push cart, like the ice cream man in Singapore, but instead of the freezer, it was a red hot oven! Cool right! They were selling something like roti prata but with onions and meat and egg inside. Its called 'Shao Bing' (burnt biscuit direct translation). Really nice and only 3Yuan! And its really big. We decided to da bao our dinner back as well, from this 'claypot' rice stall just opposite a scary road we had to cross. I had the Salted Fish with Pork Rice, not very nice though. The lady already packed 8 packets nicely for us, then the driver said he won't be there for another 20 mins, so we went back in to eat. Felt so bad! The driver finally came like 7 plus, and can you believe it, it was pitch dark already. I have a feeling that I will be an early riser and sleeper when I get back to Singapore, cuz of the early sun and all that here.

Photo Collage

2009-09-30T05:55:00.000-07:00

Trip to Macau (Institute of Tourism Studies)

2009-09-29T03:57:00.000-07:00

28/9 Monday

2009-09-28T00:48:00.000-07:00

A lesson day today, from 9-11 12.30-2. And of all times, it rained like shit today. I didn't bring my umbrella with me today!! -.- Had to walk around in the rain all day, came back and had a hot shower straight away so I won't get a cold. Damn bored now, we had actually planned to cab down to Lost City, which is this water theme park that is one of the must do's in ZhuHai, but we couldn't because of the rain. Somehow I feel no sense of excitement nor anticipation for the enxt 2 weeks plus. I guess its due to the teachers? Inflexible and not understanding at all. 2 quizes (and knowing them, they are so not the type who will let us off on the lenient side and give us easy questions) and a project as well. Shit man. We have to clean the rooms and do our own laundry, and settle our own meals. WHERE GOT TIME TO DO THESE FUCKING SHIT STUFF. I hope they read this and understand man, really I do. There is just simply no time. The least they could do is to mark us really really really leniently on the quizes and the project. Seriously. Sigh. I can't wait to go back to Singapore now that they are here. Without the right type of teachers, everything just seems like such a chore. 2 weeks and 3 days. Please past quickly.

GongBei No. 6

2009-09-27T07:45:00.000-07:00

Another spree!! I seriously need to stop soon. Am going broke. Spent about S$180 today, BUT BUT BUT, am on shopping high! The things that I bought are like super nice, can't find easily in Singapore one! And cuz the stock are basically made in China, they are sold at a very very very cheap price. They are sold higher back in Singapore. So its sort of like cutting out the middleman to lower costs. Just had a nice hot shower, and my eyes are closing! Damn shagged. Mr Oh and Ms Yee are back in Singapore already I guess, will miss them alot! He has been surprisingly very very nice to us on this trip, and he said quite a number of things that made me feel very touched. Huh. I can't really believe it either. But he's a very nice guy. Why is he still not married? LOL.

Spent a grand total of *drumroll* 908RMB / S$193!!!

Congratulations to me. BUT BUT BUT! In my defense, please refer to the following articles which support my case. They are superbly fantabulous and cheap!! :D

Photos Only

2009-09-25T22:28:00.000-07:00

Shall spam all the photos I took for this week, since there was no time for me to blog, and I am so damn lazy to post anything. Nothing much, let the photos speak for themselves.

Going On Shopping High

2009-09-25T07:54:00.000-07:00

My number 5th time at Gongbei!! Spent another minor bomb today, bought the following, please refer to pictures. Had our last HBM lecture today, quite lost but where got mood right after the last quiz?? Will miss our 2 teachers, and Mr Oh compiled a nice presentation and video of our first 3 weeks here. Will be attending a welcome meeting for Ms Ong and Dc. Chiam tomorrow at 10am, yes, on a SATURDAY. -.- I could have spent it at GongBei!!

The blouse and the shoes are for mummy, the bling top for PF, a brown polo tee for dear, plus an Armani briefcase for him as well. For myself, a yellow knit dress, a green knit top and a super cute beret!! Tried out the coloured contacts just now, cannot see leh!! Will go back to Singapore to get from Siew Peng's wonderful supplier.

Shopping Spree IV (Gongbei)

2009-09-21T06:28:00.000-07:00

Apparently it was number 4 today. Had half day off from Mr Andy Oh, and off we went to GongBei! He and Ms. Annie Yee joined us, but we were so excited about shopping that we sort of shot off halfway and left them behind. LOL. Nobody can keep up with us except us! I couldn't spot anything nice for myself today, so I bought a cute jersey sailor dress for pf with a small sized blazer I hope she likes, a bomber jacket for my darling, and leggings and tank tops for myself, just some small pieces to make the other pieces wearable. Haha. Just found out that there will be a quiz on friday before they leave damn it. HOW TO STUDY LIKE THAT?

Tomorrow is Hong Kong day, going to visit the Tourism Board, before heading to Ocean Park to PLAY PLAY PLAY. Will be back late tomorrow, so mummy and dear, call me if you want to talk to me. I won't be online I think, too late already. Wednesday is another half day class (1-4pm) in school, HBM again. Mr Oh knows us too well, we probably won't wake up for a 9-11 class, so he very nicely shifted the class back for us! :D

Thursday, we will be heading to GuangZhou for a short visit to the Shangri La hotel there, before being dropped off at the Tee Mall for a spot of shopping, hope to be able to uncover some gems there as well! Friday is the test (!!!) and maybe another lesson. Next week onwards will be our second module! TDM - Travel & Destination Management. And our other 2 teachers will be joining us.

Shopping Spree II (Gongbei)

2009-09-19T19:45:00.000-07:00

Both shoes cost $50 each, the lace blouse was $90, grey blouse $70 and the zebra top is for puifang $50. The helicopter is for ahba $130 and its damn fun! Somebody tell him that he should really look forward to it. HAHAHAHA. Slippers for my dearest $40, dear ask marcus if he wants also or not, got blue/white also.

All in all, including the minibus fare, tips, Dim Sum lunch and Dinner, I spent $636 yuan. Which is about S$135! I think it is damn worth it! I LOVE GONGBEI! Mummy, next time holiday we come here and shop ok? HAHAHA.

Visit to Macau (Venetian & Wynns)

2009-09-17T19:54:00.000-07:00

Day ???

2009-09-16T04:24:00.000-07:00

I have lost track of the number of days, and I only know that it is wednesday, meaning tomorrow is VENETIAN & WYNN THURSDAY! Finally! We can go to Macau!

Anyway, am feeling quite shagged today, just returned from a trip to the Shangri La at Zhong Shan, which is another region of China just up from here. Had a super meaty and filling lunch, before heading for the most interesting lesson I have ever had since I reached ZhuHai, seriously. Selling of hotel rooms, damn fun.

GOLDEN FRIENDSHIP INDEED. LOL

Ended at 6, and we dozed on the bus back here, and I'm sitting here blogging while waiting for Seeing to bathe.

Day 8

2009-09-14T05:06:00.000-07:00

MONDAY! I survived a week here! This are looking up slightly, and I'm quite getting used to the lifestyle here. Just those health nuts driving me crazy with guilt about laundry and running and eating fruits (bleah).

Sitting here with no mood to do anything at all, basically cuz there's a typhoon coming! OMG! Don't worry mummy and dearie, I will be indoors at all times, so we will just be watching it go by. :) Just finished my dinner, and no mood to study for the quiz at all. -.-

Dear please motivate me! lol.

No piccies today, cuz it was just a 8-11am and 2-6pm class day thing.

Day 6&7

2009-09-12T23:31:00.000-07:00

Saturday was shopping day yesterday! I bought stuff like crazy!

List of Items Purchased at GONGBEI

Burberry Tote - $150

Coach Clutch - $150

Underwear - $65

Blouse (cream) - $30

Miu Miu Purse - $250

Longchamp Bag X2 - $80

Shades (mine + his) - $20 + $15

Nike Shoes - $55

Plus my fees for the day:

Minibus transportation fees - $21

Sushi Brunch - $22

Ajisen Lunch - $25

Cafe Dinner - $23

ALOT RIGHT!! All in all, I spent about 911rmb, which is S$180. OMG. I plan to stop shopping for a few weeks first before I go back to Gongbei again. I love it there! The bargaining is sometimes more fun than the actual shopping, and the sense of satisfaction that I get when I manage to slash the price to a super cheap price is really shiok ar. LOL.

Today is Sunday, I woke up around 12 and I'm so happy cuz I managed to catch up on my sleep! Just came back from a brunch at a nearby canteen, shopped at the minimart for some supplies (detergent hangers coffee etc.) Going down to do laundry with the washing machine for the first time after this post! Then will be sweeping and mopping the floor, going for a jog, then dinner, then relaxing time! YAY. Photos of my shopping goodies later! :)

Day 5

2009-09-10T20:16:00.000-07:00

OMG! Just heard that there may be a mini typhoon! @.@ Updates later! Just back to have a lazy day's lunch. :D

/Edit

Today was a booooring day. Had quite an interesting HBM lesson from 8 - 11am, after which we all decided that we were lazy and sick of dim sum, so we trooped back to our dorms to have maggie mee, and just so happens that it rained! Perfect weather to slurp my mee. :D

I chatted with dearie and pf, played some rollercoaster tycoon and off we went for our F&B Management class by one of the instructors of the Shangri La Academy. It was quite bland, and we studied most of the things before during FABM, so I was fighting to keep myself awake (as usual). The only thing good was the seafood dinner we planned ourselves. We called a mini bus and the driver Yang Shi Fu was very nice! 6 hysterical girls in his bus and he didn't mind. LOL. The trip there and back was 60Yuan = S$12 = $2 per person!!! @.@

I love ZhuHai.

I was quite irritated by a certain someone in our class, epitomy of ungentlemanly? Hello? But it was ok, as the 6 girls were in a large group somewhat. The dinner cost about S$12 per person, with 4 crabs, 1 prawn dish, 1 yummy peanut and pork dish, 1 huge soup, 2 durian roti prata damn nice! 1 veggie 2 pots of TieGuanYin tea. Quite ok only, so we were slightly disappointed.

We are planning to call our Yang Shi Fu again and head down to the Duty Free Shopping Center, for me I don't really plan to get anything, just planning to look out for the latest designer bags, better for me to spot good fakes in Gongbei. I am really hoping that we get to go again tommorow, I love it there! The bargaining and haggling is even more fun than the actual purchase sometimes. Ok, sleep time, I love my pinky blankie so much, I am seriously considering bringing it back. LOL.

Day 4

2009-09-10T08:04:00.000-07:00

Finally a day for us to sleep in for a little while! I got up at 10 today, and the first thing I heard was Lilin laughing, saying that my dumbass bf asked her to kick me awake. -.- Thanks alot darling. And she really poked me, but apparently I had no reaction whatsoever. HAHAHAHA. Dead to the world man, really tiring every single day.

After that, we set off on our day on our trusty BUS!! But! It was raining! The first time that it rained since we set foot here in Zhuhai! So instead of visiting the Fisherman's Wife statue, we went for LUNCH. Like OMG please, we were told to meet at 10.45, so I think most of us ate breakfast at around 10.30?? And our dinner would be at 4.45!! What wonderful planning. So anyway, drove down to this stretch of restaurants quite nearby, about 10 minutes away from campus I think? We settled for this decent looking restaurant and starting ordering dim sum left right center!! Cuz we thought that the dishes would be like similar to Singapore ma, like maybe 5 xiaolong bao per long, and 2 chichiongfan per plate. OMFG the we ordered like 3 or 4 of each dish, and they just kept coming! Those HUMUNGOUS DISHES. I think the chichiongfan can feed 4 people already. -.- AND WE ORDERED 5 PLATES!!

LOLOLOL

We donated 3 plates to the other tables of our TRM peeps, but our table was still fucking overflowing! Even the teachers were laughing at us. But we persevered! We tried to finish as much as possible, and the Ha Kau was delish can! 4 small but fresh prawns in each one! *drool* We ta ba the rest and off we went to the statue. The story behind the statue is quite romantic and sad. Its this statue of a lady, wearing some netting dress, holding a big torch/light over her head, apparently, she is the wife of a fisherman who went out to sea regularly. And she would always wait for him to come back with her light. But one day there was a thunderstorm, and he didn't come back. So she stood there with her guiding light waiting and waiting till she turned into stone. Damn sad right!! So now, because ZhuHai is by the sea, and there are alot of fishermen here, everyone who goes out to sea will pray to her to keep them safe with her guiding light. :)

From the pictures, you can see the wind is like crazy la!! And it was high tide! The waves were totally crashing into the jetty area around the statue! I was the only brave soul out of the 6 girls to head out to the actual statue, cuz they didn't want to get hit by the huge waves. I am glad to say that I made it safely! :D And the guys were there, so I got them to take photos for me! YAY! After that, we went to this Sun Yat Sen Park thingy, and took lots of photos. It was the location of his old home, and there were many many replicas. It was from the 20's I think, and there was even this little mini 'olden days' kinda village for us to explore! We only found out that area after like 45 minutes at the boring museum! So sad la! We could have spent more time exploring the village! It was so much more interesting.

After that, we went to this Indian restaurant (!!!) for our dinner, and every single dish was damn spicy!! T.T And one of our crazy course mates called JT aka Superstar, went on the stage to imitate Michael Jackson, DAMN FUNNY LA! LOL. Cuz there was this TV playing his concert DVD, so she just kept following what he did, and once the camera was like shooting the audience or whatever, she started just waving and swaying around cuz she didn't know what the next moves were. HAHAHA. Total LOL. AND THEN! The freakin chef came out and did a real imitation! haha quite fun dinner.

We left the restaurant around 7pm, by then the sky was starting to turn dark and cloudy, very windy! Almost like a typhoon! Quite scary when it rains here in ZhuHai. And then it started raining, so the performance at the Summer Palace replica of the Forbidden City was cancelled. And the people on our bus suggested that we head to Gongbei again, which is this shopping mall that we went to a few days ago, but didn't get much time to shop. So we went, and tada!! I bought a Longchamp bag, brown (fake) for S$10!!! Looks almost exactly the same as the real thing! And also a fake Ralph Polo tee! Looks good, and also for S$10!! HAHAHAHAHA.

I AM ON SHOPPING HIGH. :D

Reached the hostel around 9.40pm, cammed with darling and mummy, and now its sleep time!

Day 3

2009-09-09T05:04:00.000-07:00

Today was the start of our official HBM (Hospitality Business Management) class. A very looong and boring 3 hours later, we went off for lunch. This plate of tomato-eggy thing, fish and veggies cost like S$1!!! LIKE OMFG SO CHEAP. But the fish tasted muddy! And the veggie was eeew. So I bought 10 dumplings to 'add in'. Not bad leh the dumplings. Anyway, the canteen was damn full of chinese students, and its damn obvious that we are not locals from the way we dress I guess, cuz they kept staring at us. We already tried speaking as softly as possible already la! But they still stare!! SO RUDE.

After that went back 'home' to slack and rest before reportin at 1.40 downstairs for Anthony to bring us to the practical building. (Anthony is the Operations Manager I think, he's one of the people in charge of us, he's a Singaporean too!) He said it was within walking distance, obviously his walking distance and our walking distance has a HUGE difference, I felt like fainting when I reach la! SO FAR!! And its like fuckingt 36-37 Degrees can!! Anyway, instead of a chocolate cake, we made Club Sandwiches, quite boring leh, sian. This is Lilin and my creation! Not bad, and the ingredients were very yummy!

After that nothing to do already, actually wanted to go have seafood at DieShi (its not DIE, its die as in chinese de stack, get it?) Its supposedly within 'walking distance', but after that trip, we were abit apprehensive la. HAHAHA. But in the end, we were outnumbered by the people from other classes, and Lilin wanted to let her stye heal, so we didn't. Ended up going to look at the stadium and pool (CLOSED!) and bought dinner home from a nearby canteen. And now here I am blogging while skyping with dearest! Hope you enjoy the photos, alot more when I come back k? And the report you sent me was the sweetest! Thanks for trying to allow me to feel like I am more involved in your day. haha.

Zhuhai Day 2

2009-09-08T06:01:00.000-07:00

Today was day 2, orientation plus supermarket visit. We bought pillow, a mini bolster for like $5 sing, comforter!! sushi for dinner blah blah blah. rushed like hell! China ppl are quite friendly, but still some are damn rude. >.>

I mopped the floor today! With Mr Muscle and Dettol. HAHAHAHA. Nice clean room today. :D

I missed my mummy and dearest like hell last night, but I am a huge control freak, so once I got the time table for the trip today, I felt so much better. I need to have control before I have a sense of security. So anyways, tomorrow is a NP module in the morning, then a cooking class in the afternoon, and we get to wear chef suits!! SO EXCITING! Will try update my schedule on a daily basis here, so keep updated! Dear take care ya, dun keep going out, if not I must wait till very late then u online la, -.- :P. LOL

ok u just told me to go slp first, so i shall. Anything u want to know just leave me a tag k? And I have this feeling the days will past faster and faster and faster, cuz my schedule is quite packed! I just hand washed my clothes some more! Tired sia. -.- U better pamper me when I come back huh. HAHAHAHA. Love u dearie, love u mummy too!

Day 1 Zhuhai

2009-09-07T08:49:00.001-07:00

Our dinner! At a restaurant set up by BRUCE LEE wor...

Waiting for our ferry. First day was HOT HOT HOT. Other than that, I was just very sleepy. Plane ride was very smooth sailing, and we landed early! I hated the waiting time, waited for the plane, waited for the ferry, waited for the bus. Finally at the dorms at 9pm!!. OMG.

Had alot of trouble setting up the internet, so pictures will be quite slow until i have time to sit down and really upload everything. Homesick, a little bit, but things will get better after I get used to it. Orientation day tml, plus marketing trip to carrefour, so time to turn in for the night.

Farewells

2009-09-02T20:31:00.000-07:00

And so, I will be leaving next Monday, time passes so fast when you want it to slow down! But I am not having fun at all. Tell me why is this so?

I was fine a week ago, having just finished by exams, and still relatively looking forward to the trip. But somehow, my enthusiasm is diminishing with every briefing that was given, so many restrictions, such a packed schedule. And all the little things I was looking forward to taken away bit by bit. Why am I still going? For the module exemptions I guess. Like carina said, spread the joy over a longer period. I guess so. I am fervently hoping that things will look up when we get there.

You know how I am such a control freak, I need routine in my life, and I hate change. Going there by myself, I just don't know if I will be able to cope. 6 weeks, seems so long, and yet not long enough. What a funny period of time. I have just enough time to settle in, before I have to leave. Great, thanks alot.

Everytime I think about the actual trip, like imagining how it will be like to be on the plane, visualising me waiting for the ferry or in the room, going for class. My stomach flips and I get super nervous. Someone please kick some enthusiasm into me, I don't want to spoil the trip for CK. Especially when lilin is already having such a hard time leaving her darling behind. I was fine you know, about leaving my own baby. Until I read their blogs.

CARINA AND LEELILIN, THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT.
You infected me with your emo-ness! How could you?? sigh

I will be making the necessary preparations before I go:
- Dig out a few photos to bring with me
- Pack my piggy

I think that's it. Will be blogging from China hopefully. Maybe some enthu spirit will kick in by then.

PS: Fingers crossed.

Flu Jab

2009-08-28T06:20:00.000-07:00

There was a meeting for the peer tutors today to gather our feedback, and may I say that there are really some very irritating people around in ngeeann. Not only is he desperate to make everything seem like he is the fucking saint whom we should all worship, he is making his attempts damn obvious in the mean time!! Please la, people don't need to know how nice you are ok? Stop harping about sincerity. Shut it about the wonderful notes you gave your 'friends'. Oh and seriously? I am doing it for the money (kaching!) NOT the so-called out of the goodness of my heart.

I can't believe the things he sprouted, I kept checking under the table for a script from some cheesy drama he might be reading off from!!

List of the Top 10 Goodie - 2 - Shoes Lines
By Mr Boon T.

I had my students stay over last night to help them before their paper today. We stayed from uhm.. I think 2pm yesterday? Till 6. 6AM today. 6AM. Yes 6AM. 6AM.
Did I say 6AM?
Ya 6AM.
Money is totally not an issue here. I am doing it because I want to sincerely help others.
OH! REALLY?? $17.50 an HOUR?? SO MUCH?? I didn't know! I had no idea!
No I joined the peer tutoring program once my teacher mentioned it to me. NO! He didn't mention anything about the fees! Really he didn't! I didn't know its so much!!!
I think we shouldn't pro-rate the fees, we should only invite students who are only willing to do it out of the goodness of their hearts. Not for the MONEY!! (the horrors!) *shudders delicately*
Even if there is only 1 student, I would still carry on with the class! OF COURSE! *highly insulted*
I believe that the problem with attendance is not an issue with me! I believe in them. I believe that they will turn up continuosly once they feel my sincerity. It is the best tool of all.
Oh I try to make things interesting for them by performing some magics for them after the class. Ya some magics tricks (Horrible engrish here). So they want to come back for more.

All along the fucking session I was fighting so bloody hard to stop my eyes from rolling out of their sockets!! I really cannot stand this type of people!! OMYGAWD. -.-

Is there is freakin rule that all top students must be so bloody arrogant weird self-flattering snobby desperate-for friends and JUST PLAIN IRRITATING?? Frankly I have never attended a single meeting for the so-called elites of the school, which has a group of totally non-irritating people. There is always a FUCKER who finds it his JOB to tell every person how well he is doing in school, how popular he is or how selfless.

God forbid there is anyone in NP who doesn't know of his holiness!

-.-

Had my first ever flu jab just an hour ago, trying so hard to relax and not tense up. But its really freakin pain!! *&%#$@*&# It had better work.

My sister is now the most rebellious I have ever known her, and just a few days ago, I decided that it was my limit. I shall no longer tolerate her insolence and teenage petulance. But the most irritating thing is, she is causing my poor mother all this heartache. And still she does not seem to mind waiting for a fool for that piece of shit of a sibling of mine. What wouldn't I do to get rid of her. She is like a poison, seeping into everybody's systems, making our blood boil.

The worst thing is, I can't understand why she is doing this at all. She has everything she wants, her phone has unlimited sms, she still uses my laptop like she has the thickest skin on earth, she eats bathes and shits at any freakin time she wants even though it means my aunt has to wait till 11pm to wash dishes for her. So basically, she has learnt that, she can get away with murder with out a care in the world about any consequences. Fuck the word consequences probably doesn't exist in her world. Up till now, things are so unfair for me. If it were me doing this to my family, I would probably be in a Girls' Home. And that 'friend of hers'. Wang Cai. My mother is closer to him cuz of this piece of shit in my family than she is with my boy. And we've been together for almost 5 years. I can safely say that she doesn't give a shit if we broke up. But for her? Oh thank the LORD that he is there for her.

All I can say is that if things don't get better, I might not be around in this household much longer. Favouritism I can live with, just don't expect me to welcome it with a smile. Which is pretty much what my family is asking of me now.

An Anticlimax Freedom

2009-08-25T02:26:00.000-07:00

6 Weeks is a very long time

2009-07-18T00:50:00.000-07:00

And so our overseas trip has finally been announced. To Pig Sea, Hong Kong and Macau. At first I was really reluctant, wasn't even aware of the trip in the first place! And then we were told that we will be taking 2 modules from the next sem during this trip, so if we pass, we're exempted!! OMG I was so freaking tempted by that. And also, since Ahloy is working during that time, its not like I would be seeing him much even during my super long vacation. So anyway, I guess it will be a very good experience for me, like learning to be independent and all, plus being apart from him will probably make me feel more liverated and matured. So I guess I'll be going! For 6 long weeks!

Gosh. This is quite mind-boggling. And the parents have OK-ed it as well. But last night, there was a sudden bought of uncertainess, before I fell asleep as usual. The darkest time of my days. I was thinking naybe its a wrong choice for me to go, what if I fell sick? What if I didn't prove capable of taking care of myself? I can't just hop on a plane and come home, its not possible. Its a very long committment to make, and last night, I just didn't have the confidence in myself.

What if something happened to me? Am i making the right choice? What if I miss him so badly? Will I be able to take it? Which brings me back to another point. Everytime I talk to him about something serious (not joking around etc.) I am not 100% sure that he's taking me seriously, or if he is even honest with me about his feelings and reactions. I can see so many things passing through his mind, but he just says 'ok'. I wonder when will I know what exactly is he thinking.

Paper Cut

2009-07-08T06:46:00.000-07:00

It all started with a paper cut, slicing my finger open with a fresh stack of paper. Just the start to a very bad day today. Super l0ng day, with me struggling with ATRM lecture in the morning, then pmkt lecture which was shitty, even shittier as usual cuz we got back our CT papers, and I didn't do well due to my amazing disability to understand what the question is asking of me. Seriously shitty. Then came the dreaded ATRM tutorial, where I spent half the time open-mouthed and clueless. Last was Peer Tutoring.

Lilin I finally understand what you mean by that shitty feeling, when everybody leaves and you still need to stay on later for a boring class. At least when I left the school today, the sun had not set completely, so still quite bright. Peer tutoring was exhausting, I was under so much stress to make sure everybody understood what I was saying, but at the same time, I was afraid that the others who already understood will think that I am insulting their intelligence!! Its a no-win situation for me. I just hope that I made an OK impression, and the most important thing is that they learnt something/revised something from me today.

Met with him after, dinner at Pizza Hut Clementi. Nice memories there, that was when he gave me my first present, a Piglet dressed in a strawberry suit, whom we named RAYE. But then my mother dumped it in the wash, and its butt became screwed. That place was where we had one of our sweet and awkward dates. Those were the days, when I was so nervous just to meet him.

Banking on Karma

2009-06-28T18:29:00.000-07:00

I feel like such as idiot! Turning up for a non-existent lecture, and I still called my lecturer to ask if she changed the location for the class!! Why did this have to happen to me. Big BIG sigh.

Am feeling so exhausted now, what from the late night at carina's place and mapling and all. Had a tiny bit of drama with the sister (as usual) but I was too fed up and tired to care about what the fuck she was doing to get attention once again.

I am really super tempted to just bus home and skip the bloody thing, but cannot!! Cuz I called the teacher!! And we're supposed to be meeting her later about the event shit. Why can't NP just close down for a few days. H1N1 come and 'rescue' me!!

(Apparently there are already almost 50 cass in Clementi!)

Something good had better happen later, or maybe I avoided some catastrophe by coming 2 FREAKIN HOURS EARLIER THAN REQUIRED.

When he was away..

2009-06-25T05:47:00.000-07:00

So he's gone on his little jaunt, and I was quite tormented over it initially. But after he actually left, I realised that its actually not that bad. So I decided to just take the time and enjoy myself, at least make sure that I'm leading a happy life during these 3 long days.

I'm glad to report that its working, and I'm not as depressed as I anticipated I would be. :D

Dear if you're reading this, don't get any funny ideas that I'm getting used to you and your trips ok, I still don't like it, but at least I can live with it now. Hope this makes you feel better, knowing that I no longer feel that you're abandoning me anymore.

Had quite a short day in school today, just trying our best to start on our ATRM project, and we discovered that there's actually nothing much that we can do. Hmmm. Spent the rest of the day just talking to my dear CK, being with them really helped time to pass faster during the day.

Nothing much to say for this post, just that today's Thursday, and he's coming back tomorrow, and late at night, so my wait is only half over at best. :/ Come back soon, there's nobody whom I can talk shit to and laugh with when you're not with me. Win more money and come back to me ok?

Let there be SIMS!

2009-06-18T01:08:00.001-07:00

I am still in the process of renovating my beautiful house with the help of my sister. Totally in love with it! I had a super deprived childhood, so I'm really letting go this time. WAHAHAHAHA.

Thankfully I have this to take my mind off the things I would really not think about. He's leaving me again after 2 peaceful years. Not leaving me like LEAVING me, he's just going to Genting with some friends. It sounds so insignificant and unimportant compared to what my ATRM teacher has to go through, but I still don't feel good about it at all. Just buying me things won't change that fact, but for your sake, I'll just pretend it does k?

During the first 2 years when we were together, he went off on these types of trips alot more often, shouldn't I be used to it by now? I've been trying to think about, like what is the real reason why I am always so reluctant for him to be anywhere without me. But sad to say, i have no idea. I can't even pinpoint the exact stupid feeling I have. Which is really frustrating.

Am I sad? Lonely? Angry or jealous? I think all of the above. Why is it that he can feel happy without me, but I can understand better now, because I went on the cruise with friends, and the exhilarating feeling is really liberating. So I won't blame him or resent him for it. Lonely DUH, he's leaving me alone during my holidays damn it! But its not like he's spending time with me, he's working already, the weekday right after he ORD. Ok, I have to admit that I'm quite pissed off with him. I mean I stuck with him throughout the 2 entire years ok! When everything is over, he just went right into his next phase in life without any word of appreciation. Jason will probably say 'its your duty as his girlfriend to be with him, there shouldn't be a need for thanks'. Wait till the shoe's on the other foot damn you.

He only has 6 days of leave for the 6 months in his contract, so damn him as well for taking half of it WITH HIS FUCKING FRIENDS during his GODDAMN 2ND WEEK OF WORK, WITHOUT ME!! GAWD, I'm really getting myself pissed now.

I need to get this outta my system soon before I regret him. But you don't get it all do you? I hope you can get this through your thick skull soon. I may not stick around to wait.

I told you so

2009-05-08T06:35:00.000-07:00

I really don't want to say this, but I really told you so. JC life starts out all fine and dandy at the start, it all goes downhill from there.

When you were about to take your 'O's, we talked about what you were going to choose as your next path.

When you completed your 'O's, I was struggling with my own life.

When you got your results, I started my new life.

When you made your initial decision, I was happy that you understood where I was coming from.

When you succumbed to pressure, I didn't feel that there was anything left to say.

I shall name you outright here, since nobody will see this anyway.

Irene, I have to say, I told you so.

I have no idea why, but people have trouble understanding the pressure and my perspective of life during my time at JJ. Everybody says 'such a waste, just press on, its only 6 more months'.

What they don't understand was life was hell for me, everyday was spent thinking I'm better off dead. My ah po passed away, my only comfort was 'I will be joining her soon'. The sooner the better.

I realised that people do not know to what extent of hell it was, here's a summary then.

I was in the top class for Biology, a scholar class. My class 06S01 was segregated initially, but things finally clicked, and we were able to survive with each other's support. Being crammed in that small space from 7.20am to 5pm almost daily, I guess we had no choice. Our class was reponsible for organising tea sessions for all scholars and exchange students, we also had to attend enrichment workshops for public speaking etc. While managing our own schoolwork.

I felt like a brainless idiot with them. They were able to grasp the concept of everything after just listening once, while I was left struggling to catch up weeks after. Things started piling up, there wasn't enough time to watch tv or even sleep. I was soon several weeks behind everybody else. I started feeling thoroughly depressed and demoralized after being blasted by tutors day after day, week after week. I wanted to give up. But I had no where to go. JC is a make or break stepping stone; if you manage to survive, the honor of a degree is yours to take. But if you don't... then what? Some issues arose, my Maths tutor, Mr Chu, started playing mind games with us for criticising him our our private blogs. Until today, we don't know how he managed to find our blog URLs. Links led him to the entire class' blogs, and things turned ugly. He deliberately sped up his teaching to make us struggle even more, and increased the rate of his blasting sessions. He was the master of sarcasm, with the ability to make us feel like worthless idiots who didn't deserve to be in JC. I hated him with all my strength. Dreaded maths tutorials like torture. I just did not understand the argument of Z, nor differentiation to the third degree, or cumulative binomial at all.

Because we were a scholar class, we had to take H2 contrasting subject: Economics. I failed constantly, and my tutor treated me like pariah. Interestingly enough, I topped both Micro and Macro Economics last year in NP.

Biology: a mass of memorizing nightmares. SPA report writing was hell, 5 different procedures, 5 different sets of safety precautions. We were told to memorize everything. I never passed a test before.

Chemistry was a constant bane of my life. Alkenes alkanes, radical electrons. I wanted to die. I could see myself getting a job and getting on with life; marriage, kids. But I couldn't see myself getting there. The process was a blur of uncertainty to me. I tried to die.

I bailed after 1 year and 5 months of JC. The principal ordered me to talk to the school counsellor. A fact I forgot to mention; we had some intra-class drama sometime during year 1, and our class became regular patrons of the counselling office. Mr Wu the Counsellor became our Uncle Steven. I happily trotted to his office and chatted with him, we did not discuss the possibility of staying on in JJ, Uncle Steven had witnessed enough of my misery to understand that. He handed me some brochures for other avenues of study instead, and gave me more ideas to think about. I am extremely grateful to Uncle Steven, I think 06S01 owes him very much.

Bittersweet memories, there were happy moments. Where we would all buy MiFen La (spicy fried beehoon), and wait for everybody to be seated at the canteen before starting our meal together. Chatting in the canteen, in our Civics class. Camps where I saw secondary school delinquents change in 3 days. Kim is in Australia now, my Emzilla in US. Yan is at NYP doing a diploma/degree course. Our class geniuses Jacob, Miao Si, Hwee Ting and Zhi Ming. NS and NUS. Haha. Wan Yi, my very best and closest friend, Slyvia my companion. Everybody was there for me during these hard times, and I cried alot before leaving. Gawd I feel like crying NOW.

Bottom line is, everybody has gone their seperate ways. So have I.

I have the desire to live again, an aim in life.

I just read your post, 'life is like living hell for me'. Now do you finally understand?

I stumbled into a hole, but I managed to climb out. Somehow, I forsee you rotting in that same hole.

I'm melting....

2009-04-23T01:16:00.000-07:00

IT HAS BEEN SWELTERING HOT FOR THE PAST WEEKS.

AND, they are building a huge estate smack in front of ours, thereafter SEALING US IN LIKE PRISONERS. No ventilation people. I think we'll rack up exborbitant electricity bills from aircon.

School has started for the week, and i'm happy to say that there are supposedly only 2/4 common tests to be taken, and there is 1 module that we don't need to sit for and examination after the semester. Rejoice!!

ATRM was interesting, although I got a bit lost. LAM was just... confusing...
Bcomm was... intriuging, and CEM was just boring. We need to clock another 40 hours, this time for events! Damn. French was very interesting today, its been a long long time since I was ever interested in another language. I think I was over the whole 'add more skills to your resume' thing during JC. I really regret wasting 2 years of my life there, not only did it NOT help me in anyway, it resulted in me experiencing everything all wrong.

Let me explain myself. Looking at my poly friends and classmates now, I see them get very excited over many things. Like attending camps, getting to know seniors and freshies, learning a new language, volunteering for as many events as possible to pad their resumes. But the thing is, I've pretty much been through everything before, and I also know that in the end, its not worth it. I hear them saying things that I chanted during my JC times, and I try to keep my cynism to myself because I can't bear to tell them that what is in their plans with never happen.

Seniors? They help you to help themselves, they don't give a shit after they graduate. There is a vast world of a difference between juniors and friends after all. Juniors, they make use of you, pretend to me chummy to gain the admiration of friends. But there is never anything that they are willing to do for you in return. Camps. Hate to say this, but JJ organises camps like they're operating a camp school. Things at NP aren't that bad yet, but its obvious that its like heading where JJ is right now.

Do you know where the irony is? They organised tonnes of camps and encourage leaders leaders and more LEADERS to be 'nurtured'. My darlings, every single person from JJ is a 'leader'. Leaders are supposed to lead aren't they? Now let's take a look at this situation, WHO ARE WE LEADING? Oh yes, we forgot the importance of teamwork! How silly. No team members to lead!

Leaders are easy to culcate. Seriously. There is so much less challenges that leaders face compared to what team players have to deal with. The problem is that nobody thought of training us to be good team players. Do they think that we will be promoted right to the top the moment we graduate? Aren't 'player' skills and team EQ so much more important to help establish our footing during the initial period? Oh wait, JC's think JC students are the top right? Of COURSE they'll be the top. Team players? Aren't they supposed to be the stupid people? From ITE or Poly or whatever?

I am a very blunt person, but I am truthful. This is the mindset of most if not all of JC students out there. My friends were (are) like that, and sad to say, so was I.
Ironic isn't it? I'm a stupid person now!

I used to feel the need to explain myself to every person I told I was a JC drop out. But why? So that they won't think that I'm stupid? WHY? My friends are one of the cleverest people I know. From Poly TRM. (YES! POLY! Shocking isn't it?) And I am glad to say that I am not that far behind either. Its all a matter of security and confidence I like to think.

Confidence in yourself. Enough to no longer feel the need to defend your decisions.

Unwelcome visitors

2009-04-01T21:48:00.000-07:00

That man has finally gone, thank GOD. Hated the 2 whole weeks when he decided to camp at our doorstep. Freakin ridiculous that I had to sneak my way out of the house and dash back into the house everytime I go out. -.- Extremely assholic irritant that man.

Watched a super hilarious comedy with gfs like rich tai-tais with nothing better to do on a Wednesday, had high tea. (woooo~) But my very pleasant day was marred by a call from home saying that HE can smashed our flower pots outside the house. FUCK!! My finger was hovering over the dial button with 999 already keyed in. Damn him.

Life after cruise seems boring to the extreme. Have been wasting my time playing Latale (a not so cute and more complicated game compared to Maple). And now... back to Latale. -.-

I need a life.

My poster family for ANTI-GAMBLING CAMPAIGN

2009-03-26T21:10:00.000-07:00

It has been 2 weeks since he first started to ring our doorbell again after several years. Why can't he just leave us alone? I made a shocking discovery recently, that person is actually related to me. -.-
Thanks alot to my family, for not telling me anything. But this doesn't make anything different, he is still a stranger to me, since I never knew of his existence as an uncle. All he wants is money, apparently he is a gambler.

Tsk tsk tsk.

To think that there is such a lousy character in my family history. I swear that whatever shit happened in the previous generation, its going to end with mine. I will never want my husband or children to be affected by what my family did.

I feel so cut off from the world, no telephone line, can't leave the house, can't make any noise..

So she sailed away

2009-03-22T07:37:00.000-07:00

Back from the Cruise! Feeling... kinda weird. As if our tiny cabin became our home for real. And I want to go back.
I have to say, that the way I experienced things on the same trip with family and friends was extremely different. Somehow, adults are always obsessed and preoccupied with details, to my mother, and minute, no, SECOND, not spent doing something directly relevant to the trip = wasted money. But on this trip, despite our very tight schedule (what with our tours around the back of house), we managed to enjoy ourselves. And it didn't feel hectic at all.
OK, maybe it was because we were able to forego some sleep. Unlike with parents.

I really enjoyed sharing a cabin with my lovely CK, they made it a super fun trip for me.

We got our results on the last day of the cruise. A REALLY frustrating experience for me, due to the fact that I couldn't recieve ANYTHING. Lousy Omnia, what is the point of so many functions if a pokey Sony Erricson is able to get a signal and I CAN'T. Everybody got their results, and I was the only one left hanging. Was sitting at the side deck of the ship, waving my phone around trying to get a signal. In the end, thanks to Carina's bf (Lewis), and Carina's phone (which got a M1 signal), I got my results. I did well, 3.833 GPA, 3 A's and 2 AD's. Only my stupid IS modules pulling me down again. *SIGH*

Currently rotting my brains out at home, an entire month of vacation to go. I feel so useless.

Time to do something about it.

Through the tunnel, into the light

2009-02-28T06:56:00.000-08:00

Day 1 of my vacation! And already I'm feeling bored. Met with Feli and Cherrie yesterday, long time no see. Cherrie has changed! Pretty Cherrie.
Tried on lots of gorgeous dresses at River Island. Big fan now! The dresses are HOT.
Feli bought a very Pretty Woman-ish dress. Hot pink. I tried it on too. The Fat Ass and the Skinny Bitch.

2 Down 3 To Go

2009-02-24T01:07:00.000-08:00

Lately everything I have heard about FABM has just beem disappointing. Not a single thing has been desirable. Screwed Durian Nation, screwed work report. I don't even know why, and after all that effort we put into the thing. I guess people will just say that this is life, nothing is fair, but I can whine right? I just need a listening ear, and someone to tell me that its ok to drag down my GPA, I don't need to be such a perfectionist all the time.
Supposed to be studying for HOM now, but I guess I'm just being complacent. Finished memorising last week, so as Carina would say, its just refreshing memory. I can't even get myself into the mood to start man. And I was home at 12 today. Unproductive nightmare. I still had an afternoon nap.
Ok, so I guess I need to start soon?
Not so soon. :D
He just started a blog to display his CRS.

Bibi died. RIP. I can't bear to throw away your babies. But I don't even know for sure that they are still alive.

Hooked onto Fashion Wars on facebook, its really bitchy business. I like.

I miss Emzilla. Hope she comes back soon. Can I call you sometime Emma? I wish I can hear your voice. I miss those days. Ok, not exactly those days, I hated JC. But I miss my super-duper friends. Yan! Sylvia! Wan Yi! =(

Back to work now I guess. 3 more to go. I really want this over.

Floundering for motivation.

Fatigued & Jaded

2009-02-20T04:19:00.001-08:00

Its finally setting in, the tiredness after studying, and the exams are still 2 days away.
Am quite jealous of others, who are able to put off studying until the day before or whatever, what is the point of starting so early, when in the end I just end up feeling so tired.
I just want it to be over and done with.

Remember how we used to complain? From secondary school O's, to JC A's. And until now at poly. Students everywhere are complaining that the things they are studying will most probably not be applied to what they will be doing as their career in the future. While I used to agree (and I still do for certain modules) I read somewhere that studying for exams and sitting for them is basically only a 'ritual' of sorts, that has to be taken by students all over the world. In a way, it builds character.
I have been trying to remember this everytime I feel like just throwing the towel in, but lately its getting harder and harder. I am really tired, not so much physically. Not even mentally. I am just sick of cramming shit into my brain. Everything's just floating about somewhere in my brain, I'm not even confident that I will be able to pull out anything useful during the papers.
Some may say that having something floating around is better than having a blank brain.
But sometimes I can't even sleep properly without the notes buzzing in my brain.

Really looking forward to the cruise.
But I guess its just in my character to make sure I study hard enough to enjoy myself as much as possible during the vacation.
Why me?

Chanting notes in the shower.

Mind Games Yet Again

2009-02-18T21:59:00.000-08:00

Fed up with FABM. I know what people will say, don't let her get to you. Mind games. I had enough of them from my JC times. ENOUGH.
SICK TWISTED WARPED PERVERTED MIND OF YOURS.

I learnt from the master, but I'm just too tired to entertain you. It may be fun to you, but it concerns my future. Is this how you wish to be remembered?

I want this week to be over. Just let me be. I've had enough of education.
Enough of the torture.

People go crazy because of impossible goals. BMGT: Good leaders set high performance goals.
I see. So they aim to drive everybody crazy.

Excuse me while I make a reservation with IMH, I want a good seat when I get there....

Oh and place orders for Egyptian cotton to bind me to my bed with. Comfort is the least I ask for if I am to be confined.

Nearing the end of Year 1

2009-02-16T06:12:00.000-08:00

Another eventful year of my life, and as usual it turned out better than I expected.
I tell myself that I need to stop being so pessimistic, but there is absolutely no reason for me to be optimistic about anything. My reasoning is, if you expect something bad to happen, everything that happens in truth would still be better than your expectations.
Trying to cram for exams now, damn shit, that's all there is to it. 5 solid modules and all freaking memory work. Even my memory pills can't save me now. -.-
I really hope I can remember everything that I memorised. As I have said many times, I am extremely prone to anxiety and panic attacks, so I tend to forget what I studied, then I'll freak out because I forgot it, and forget some more. Its a vicious cycle, I know.
Another thing that has been bothering me is the fact that I am spending alot of time with a 17-year olds, and I still fit in. I still can't make up my mind if its a good or bad thing. I fully expected an age gap or something you know? Its not that they are childish or whatever (in fact I think they are much more matured compared to what I was like when I was in JC and was their age, which is quite bloody depressing). They are the best friends that I have in poly now, and I really appreciate them for being in my life.
I also realised recently that I am quite the shallow person. I prefer not to think about certain issues, such as those concerning my future, and all other 'adult' stuff, while others can't wait to be of legal age to handle those matters themselves. Call me apathetic, but I do not get most of that shit anyway. I freaked out when i received the letter for insurance under Great Eastern, and I still marvel over the fact that I have CPF (!!!). Also! I really do not like watching shows that make me think, I have enough misery and torture in my life as it is! Why watch something that makes me think about it for nights and nights? People say I am a bimbo and airhead for only watching chick-flicks. But they make me feel happier. I know, I need therapy. I even watch shows halfway and stop before the sad things happen. (Even in Finding Nemo) I usually skip to the happy ending part. =D
OK! I have wasted enough time on this, my bf is telling me to go to sleep, but! as usual, I will have to sit here and finish up at least this chapter before I feel less guilty enough to fall asleep. Me and my wonderful sense of duty and responsibility.

ps: Saw my ex today, but strangely did not have the compulsion to talk to him or even tell him hi. Guess he's really out of my life now. But I must say that he wasn't much of an affair to begin with. Just a regret of the past, I shouldn't have done anything out of pity. hmm.

Play your ace

2008-12-17T06:59:00.000-08:00

I want Flightless Bird to be played at my prom too! I cannot get over my obsession with Twilight.
Its somehow waltzy and amusement park-y at the same time. Oh, I just described the scene of their prom. hmm.
Met with my CK today, I wish that when I go out to work, I can have team mates like them. Its childish and naive of me, but I hope we can somehow manage a company together in the future, maybe when we're all rich and have capital funds. Barbeffet.
She just told me its hopeless, he doesn't want to have another relationship, cuz he can't control his feelings for other girls. Hello, thats called hormones. If others can control it, I don't see why you can't. I want to care for you and all, but sometimes, i can see that young flirt of a guy that's all too familiar in you, and I don't like it. Is this your idea of a love life?
Hey girl, its ok, if waiting is your aim, I'll be there. If the feelings fade, I'll still be there.
Thank you God, I didn't ever have to deal with guys like that in my life, I'm praying I don't ever have to. Those feelings are too harsh for my fragile heart.

Taking it slow, feeding my flame.

Happy Birthday to Marc

2008-12-16T04:54:00.000-08:00

Trying out blogging again, just for the sake of it. Self-gratification.
I wonder if anybody else wishes desperately for fairytales and stories to come true.

I wish my life took place on a music score.

Claire de Lune.